unsolved

I don't know why, perhaps i knew it..
It's almost 2 months.. a few days more..
I knew for breaking my promise to meet you up is totally unacceptable before my flight..
I've apologized for that, just can't you reply in a polite way rather than sarcastic way?
I've spent most of my time with you before i leave,
And i do need to spend it with my friend as well.
I've tried my best to full fill you with my abilities..
Look.. not to say I am blaming on you or saying i am correct all the time.
Yes, I did a lot of mistake..
just see
*I spent 1 night of farewell party till dawn until all those clean ups, a few hours of sleep and continue with 2 days of seminar, came back dinner with friends, back home last minutes packing till dawn.. feel into sleep for less than 4 hours (which i broke my promise), woke up and continue pack and bring things for my friend and continue packing.. even Jamie, Jane, Elaine came and I got no time to wait but to get things done.. *alright see it's my fault for late packing.. but there is a lot of time we could grab a drink and chill around..*
I don't know why you did that for just that reason?
It's not all the time things are flowing in your way..
There is certain time things goes the other way round..
Peoples could stand at your situation and think,
But did you tried to do so at the others? not to me.. but others..
please reflect back..
I don't meant to argue or what, but maybe that's your way to handle things.. i could say.. we as a friend.. i found that it's a waste to end up this way.. well.. that's all i guess.. i got no resent for what's going to be next, since I've apologized for broken promise I've made..
Take care..
Pal.

Perfect

Maybe perfect a word that easy to be spell but..
I don't find a way to met this requirement of words when it came to certain things..
Things I've look at.. I've think of..
a flash back of a scene, an act..
that's totally a sickness..
A progress of learning and growing..
perhaps, i shall look for not perfect condition..
maybe you're right, perfect seems to be nice; but it's not safe to be in.
it came again and again and no way to escape from it before you face it..
came on.. I'm getting sick with it..
it's been so long and yet so fucking clear right now..
someone.. please.. give me a point.. a guide.. to be plot at..
i got no direction at all when i face those fucking stuff..
sick of me! arghhh!